Childhood Fever

When I was 14 I had a fever. It lasted multiple days and was a spiritual experience. It shaped who I am today.

On day 2, my consciousness slipped away. I began hallucinating.

My parents told me I got out of bed, walked downstairs out the front door, and stood in the middle of the road. I don't remember any of this.

I saw things during those few days, the kind of things you can't put into words. Figures and shapes that don't exist. A sense of "scale" that felt overwhelming. An understanding of my own mortality. The globe rotating on its axis, faster and faster.

This experience had a profound affect on me. Before it I was a fairly happy kid. Afterwards I became serious. At least for a 14 year old.

Now, in my late 20s, I find myself navigating the joys of weightlessness. I understand that life is at once unbearably light.